Caregivers
Some families are counting down the days until summer vacation begins and are busy making plans for vacations, camping, and downtime. For those of us with neurodivergent children, summers often look a bit different and the lack of schedules and routines can be somewhat dysregulating for the children and the parents! Planning your summer around what works best for your children (AND for you!) will always make for more enjoyable and successful summer memories.
It’s okay to do things differently than other families.
We are often encouraged and feel pressured to make decisions and plans with outside input coming from friends and family. Neurodiverse families plan and do things differently and that is 100% empowering and acceptable. Embrace and appreciate your own summer experiences. You should feel comfortable saying “no” to invitations when you need to. This is the summer to create for you and your children and you get to decide what that looks like.
Try to stay on schedule the best you can.
Even though there is no school routine. you may find it helpful to keep your morning and bedtime routines (as well as weekday/weekend routines) the same or as close as possible to regular school-time. You know your family best and know what keeps your days successful. Keeping consistent mealtimes, snack times, and playtimes can be beneficial for keeping everyone regulated and happy. Don’t forget to keep up the water intake!
Plan fun summer activities!
It’s great to have the whole family be a part of the summer planning. The input you receive from the entire family will sometimes surprise you! Some kids will highlight that they are just looking forward to the downtime and sleeping more and some will share that they are looking forward to having the time to do extra things! It’s a fantastic thing when you can make plans that support everyone’s individual needs. Don’t forget to share some of the projects or activities you are looking forward to yourself as well – summer is not just for kids!
If you have a special outing or activity planned, you may find it helpful to:
- Research the places online as a family and look at pictures and maps
- Make lists of items to pack or bring with you
- Encourage the kids to pack their own individual backpacks or bags for the outing including snacks, fidgets, hats, sweaters, sunscreen, devices, headphones, and other items of comfort.
- Some families find making your own story books of the adventure or outing helpful.
- Building in sensory breaks or a quiet place to have lunch is often beneficial when in a new environment.
- Have a plan in place for sensory overload to help ease the anxiety for the group. Sometimes, the car or just a quiet place on the grass with your comfort items away from crowds and the noise is often a great plan to break and reset as needed.
New things and experiences can be exciting but also overstimulating. Sometimes, it’s beneficial to plan extra time on either side (even if it’s camping!) for downtime beforehand and a recovery period afterward.
Be gentle on yourself and your expectations
Even with all the planning and supports in place, sometimes things don’t always go as planned. Sometimes, you will need to adjust in the moment and sometimes, you will have to have an early departure home. If you try something one time and it doesn’t go the way you were hoping, it doesn’t mean it won’t work again in the future. You can highlight the plans that were beneficial and adjust the other things for the next time. It won’t always be a perfect system and that’s completely acceptable.
Remember to take pictures. Every smile counts. Every moment is important. Celebrate the wins – no matter how big or small! Allow the moments of dysregulation to just be moments that be and flow along with the laughter and excitement! Celebrate the good moments in small increments — as they absolutely count.
Trust that when the kids tell you they had a good time, that for them, even the hard moments were worth it. It’s often harder on the parents than it is on the kids. We have a lot to learn from our children – some of them are really great at living in the moment. Remind yourself that you are doing a fantastic job as a parent and that raising kids (especially with neurodivergent needs) is not for the faint of heart.
Try to end all activities on a good note – Sometimes just going through drive through for ice cream will reset any mood!
It’s okay to stay home.
Some families and kids prefer to stick to their houses and neighbourhoods for the summer. If you don’t feel the need to venture out there are no rules that say “you have to!”
Sometimes just staying home and doing nothing is absolutely empowering on its own.
Home activities make excellent summer memories:
- Sprinklers
- Trampolines
- Sidewalk Chalk
- Bubbles
- Family Movies nights (Watching the same movie over and over is totally acceptable!)
- Sleeping in tents in the backyard
- Adventure walks around the neighbourhood
- Reading on the deck
- Listening to music (Again, one song on repeat is totally allowed!)
- Xbox or gaming binges
- Unlimited screentime days
- Indoor fort building (and sleeping in the living room!)
- Board game evenings
- Popcorn dinners
Whatever you have planned this summer, remember that it’s okay to make adjustments, accommodate your family’s needs, and change plans when needed. It’s going to be great!
