Everyone
There is a lack of information around autism and menopause. As a result, many autistic people are unsupported through what can be a tremendous upheaval in their physical, cognitive, and emotional health. This blog will help you begin to understand what to expect and how to support yourself though this major transition.
What should autistic people expect during menopause?
As with any stressful time in an autistic person’s life, you may experience skill regression. This can affect many areas including sensory sensitivities (and rigidity around sensory needs), social skills, and connection to conversation and language. You may experience light and sound sensitivities, a lower tolerance for heat or cold, skin sensitivity and more. Subtle things can affect our nervous system more harshly than our neurotypical or allistic peers, this is amplified during menopause. All of the above may result in a drop in energy and/or decision fatigue and a sense of overwhelm.
You may also experience brain fog and what some may recognize as ‘baby brain’ — forgetfulness and memory problems some people experience during pregnancy. This can be retraumatizing for some autistic people who experienced childhood harm around forgetfulness. It can leave you feeling vulnerable or reignite deep-held shame. Give yourself grace and find ways to support yourself through this temporary experience.
Symptoms of menopause are experienced differently by everyone, but as autistic people small things can feel huge. Do not let yourself or anyone else tell you that this makes your experience less valid. You may experience medical gaslighting; you may be told symptoms are “just menopause” or “just your neurology.” What you are experiencing is real. Advocate for yourself and the support you need.
How can I prepare for menopause as an autistic person?
The best thing you can do in preparing for menopause is to get the pieces moving ahead of time. Talk to your family members who have been through menopause to help you know what to expect. Many of the answers you are looking for are in your family lineage in regard to symptoms to expect, what might help, and an average age menopause might start.
Develop habits of self-care early, to avoid the overwhelming task of doing it all at once. Remember that perimenopause can begin 8-10 years before menopause and developing habits to support your body can help you during that time as well. These habits can include frequent rest, staying hydrated, avoiding sugar, stretching, getting good nutrition, and lifting weights.
As important as physical health, you also need to look after your mental health. This is a time to honour yourself and your changing needs, Even though it is a natural process roughly half the world’s population experiences, menopause can feel embarrassing, due to the lack of education and present stigma. This is magnified if you are experiencing skill regression as mentioned above, an obvious physical symptom, or a less-common symptom that’s perhaps tied into your neurology, like forgetfulness. Engaging research ahead of time, getting supports in place, talking with others creating a support system, and considering mental health supports like counselling are all ways you can support your mental health during this time.
Remember: it’s important that you support yourself to go through this process rather than give in to it.
How can I get the support I need?
You will need support from your partner or your family during perimenopause and menopause. Communication is key to those closest to you understanding what you may need during this time. It’s also important just so they know what to expect and how you may be supporting yourself as well.
Your priorities may need to shift somewhat, and you need your family onside to achieve that. This is a time to honour yourself and take time for self care. If you need a 3-hour bubble bath, take it, a night alone in a hotel, take it, a meal uninterrupted take it! Rest is important for physical, psychological, and sensory symptoms.
Don’t shy away from discussing intimacy with your partner either. In a safe relationship, it’s important to have conversations about what is happening and how it is affecting your body, your mind and your needs. Reassure your partner that you’re changing and sometimes unpredictable needs are not a reflection of them.
Taking these conversations out of the shadows, away from messages that cause feelings of shame, normalizes the experience of menopause. Talking about it, inside and outside the home, helps lower the stigma around menopause. Share your experiences. You need support and we need your voice.
